Narniaville Chronicles

This was originally posted in late February of 2007

Your love is like a roller coaster baby, baby, I wanna ride!

Saturday night was a strange night. Actually, considering how it ended, it started sanely enough. Actually it began beautifully with 5 p.m. Mass at St. Louis’ Cathedral Basilica, the most incredible Church I have ever seen. It cannot be described. The architecture and the murals dwarf the Parliament in London. I wanted to go to Church in the worst way because of the horrible nightmare I had about the Tsunami waves on Fire Island, N.Y., on Friday night. I was still very, very upset by that dream.

While at Mass I imagined two nuns asking Dora the Explorer, “Are those seats saved?”

And then Erin replying, “No, they’re going to hell.”

Hell …later that night I found myself walking up the road in Ladue with blood streaming down my face. Blood was all over both of my hands. It was warm and sticky. I looked like a painted up American Indian, I’d bet. I only saw it later, all caked up. I also received a pretty severe concussion. I only slept two hours, but on Sunday morning I took a shower and watched all of that blood flow down the drain. I managed to do my laundry. There was blood on my clothes and my North Pole ski jacket was ruined (I had bought it in the Himalayas but I never really liked it that much. The liner I had bought in South Africa.

My special wolf blanket (I bought it at the Tee Pee on the way to Branson, Mo. after wiping the puke off of the face of a very dear and drunken friend) also needed to be washed.

I had the chance to talk to KK that night for about two minutes. She is in Seattle and doing just fine. Her interview with the engineering firm went well. Of course I had a concussion so I don’t remember much about what we talked about. I think we only talked for like two minutes. She could tell something was very wrong. Then I passed out for a while. I thought I was going to die. (Remember the nightmare about the Tsunami wave, and how while I was in Guatemala in January I kept thinking I would get a severe injury to my head?)

On Sunday afternoon I received the medical attention I needed. I then took some medicine and ate a spicy tuna wrap and some potato chips. I was told not to sleep so I read and studied about the human genome in National Geographic. I learned so much. I am always creating media and I don’t consume much of it.

Since it was a Sunday I listened to some CD’s from Numbers 11. The lesson spoke about how the Hebrew remnant fleeing the Pharaoh and Egypt gathered and ate the quail in the wrong way and encountered a plague (consider GE/GM foods today, not praying before meals, which is something I grew up with but have fallen away from), found the manna on a daily basis (meaning “what is it?”), the fire that emerged outside the camp and how they had been following the pillar of fire by day and the cloud by night.

I also thought about how life changed since my grandparents days; plowing a field, wood fires, looking up at the stars, vs. the grocery store/GE foods, modern heating and looking around at “the world.”

I guess the lessons are that God will deliver us from bondage and that He will sustain us His way … and that God has human attributes as well. Those who are unthankful anger God. Fireworks obscure the stars, man’s show is over fast … and the eternal one’s show continues.

I took my medicine at 6:30 p.m. and then 11:00 p.m. I slept in between that time. My friends called me every few hours to get me up, because you are not supposed to sleep for long, long periods of time with a severe concussion. Erin called at about 11:45 p.m. I was so out of it … But then I got up … I inspected my stitches and the bandage on my head. The bruises and lumps were really coming up … my hair had to be cut away around one of the wounds. She said she would take me to the hospital if need be.

At midnight I made spaghetti with olive oil and garlic, crushed red pepper and Parmesan cheese. It was pretty good but I only ate a little bit. I drank some lemonade and ate hummus. Then I looked through all of my photographs from around the world. I have been told many of them look like postcards, which is always nice to hear wen you on an almost daily basis you are told that you are “a washed up loser.” I have divided up my photos into different categories: People from Around the World, Sunsets, Belize, Mayan World, Mexico, Guatemala, Central America, Africa, Southeast Asia and Nepal and the Middle East.

There are still so many I have in storage: Europe and Denmark, Armenia (Ani) and other places, like Lebanon. Amazing stuff. I never really went through all of it.

That done, it was time to watch the Oscars … no surprises there …

(Keep in mind I don’t own a television)

Best Picture: Anthony’s tennis skit from the ESL TV show in South Korea

Best Special Effects: Erin’s Snot Rocket

Skinniest Little Baby: LoBaido, Anthony C.

Best Horror Movie: Saturday Night in Ladue

Best Quotes of the Weekend

“You were very brave.”

“It’s Ellen. L-l-l-l-Ellen!”

(See the Vietnamese cooks for details as in, “Ha-row, Erin.”)

“Did you know I was a drunk whore?”

“Did you know I was a washed up loser?”

“Is this an Anthony rule or a “we” rule?”

“You are (a) bear … Roarrrrrr!”

“Wow that is a great toaster!”

Conversation of the Weekend

Person I: “Can you imagine me walking down the street in Ladue with blood all over my face and hands, like in a Halloween movie?”

Person II: “Anthony, you should have called me. I’m great in a crisis … like when my brother caught on fire … from the marshmallow. My mother said, ‘Wow, you’re pretty good at putting him out!’”

And everyone was like “Nooooo!” and so then everybody had to run away.

Can anyone deliver dialogue that isn’t hysterical? Erin says I need to carry a pen and a notepad around to write down the funny things she says. But she’s so outrageous you actually would wind up writing down the normal things. (Few and far between.) KK has commented on “what characters you (we) all are.” It ain’t Ozzie and Harriett, that’s for sure. I think its time to consider a reality series could be based on LoBaido, Anthony C.’s crazy life. We are indeed a “bunch of characters.”

Ultimate Quote of the Weekend

“When I win an Oscar for Best Screenplay for The Last Quatrain I promise I won’t hit you in the head with it.”

Post Script

I worked on my angels book on Sunday night from about 12:30 p.m. CST to 1:45 a.m. I am usually asleep at that time. I was in bed on Friday night by 8 p.m. (Wild Anthony!), and by 6 p.m. on Sunday night. I made some headway, even though my head got in the way, ha, ha. I had only been working on the TV/Internet/Mobile pilot for the past few weeks, even though it “sucks” and “I am a washed up loser.” When I finish it I think I will watch it on a 14” screen, because that’s so classy and decent! (Subtle, clever remark.)

Monday Morning

I woke up at 7 a.m. I drank a cup of tea and ate some toast, just to go with my medicine. I made the toast in my US$ 80 toaster! (Thank you Ker Ber!) I felt okay for about an hour and a half. Then my head started to hurt so badly I could barely sit up.

I had a very bad hour from 9 a.m. till 10 a.m. but then I started working on the changes (many changes) for my TV/Internet/Mobile pilot … and ate some spaghetti. At 11 a.m. I had an interview for a great position … and I continued to log and build the orphanage story … I am feeling very cold, but all-in-all, I’m okay.

I had lunch at the Chinese place, even though I am not supposed to. Jenny was there. Little Jenny, she must be about 15 months or so. She is so cute, a little Vietnamese girl with pigtails. She wears pink usually and has these little sneakers with lights in them. She runs around and melts the hearts of everyone.

On my way out of the restaurant one of the cooks said to me, “Hey Anthony, don’t forget to say Ha-row to Erin. (Keep in mind she told him her name was “Ellen.”)

Then he added, “And tell Erin that The Avon Lady was here for lunch. She wanted to give Erin the ski report on her face … three inches of base and two inches of fresh powder … Ha!”