Shortly after Hana and KK found me in Lago Atitlan, Guatemala, I decided that I would wait for the girl of my dreams to walk right up to me and whisper in my ear, “I’m going to marry you and I’m going to have your babies …”
Yes, it would have to be that obvious. I know that’s a high standard. I believe, as Dr. Korpi once told me while we were in Belize, that “dating is merely training for divorce.”
Actually this wasn’t a wish or even a prayer. It is just something I asked the Lord for … that kind of a standard. I know it sounds crazy, but that was my request.
Only a retard would clean someone else’s toilet bowl
What good are Christmas and Easter if we don’t wish to walk with the angels and follow Jesus Christ every other day?
What good is Valentine’s Day, without daily reciprocation, truth, peace, honor, courage, kindness, support and love?
I want everyone to know that I am almost sickeningly happy!
Weekly Celebrity Letter
From now on, each week Anthony C. LoBaido will write a letter to a celebrity. I will of course post responses. Responses already in hand include those from President Bush Sr., Senator Bob Dole, Mother Theresa, Willie Aimes and two former members of Menudo
This week’s letter goes to Jeri Ryan …
Dear Ms. Ryan,
My name is Anthony C. LoBaido. When I was in Farmington, Mo. last summer I saw a woman in the Great Wall of China Mart there who looked just like you. She looked at me like I was the best thing since sliced pizza. (Apparently I am berry, berry cute-uh).
Yes Jeri, I immediately told the woman I was with about this, but luckily I was not left stranded there, or had things thrown at me or was threatened (yet again) to be cheated on or punched in the face, or left alone for three months and then for another two months or made to walk home 6 miles in 14 F weather till 10 p.m. without one sip of water because I was not enthusiastic enough about watching the film What’s Eating Gilbert Grape or some idiot TV show like American Idol.
I assure you NOTHING like that happened. I wouldn’t want you to feel badly.
I also wanted to tell you that my beautiful late and sweet mother Viola was gorgeous, like Queen Rania of Jordan. One day while we were watching TV (which rarely happens, I mean, I don’t even own a TV and don’t want one) she saw you on some really stupid random outer space show (that we only watched cause of you!) and she said, “Anthony, Jeri Ryan is so perfect, she almost doesn’t look human.”
You know what, Jeri? You are the only woman my mother ever commented on. The only man she ever commented on was Victor Mature in The Robe, and that’s only because he tried to help Jesus.
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that. Also, I don’t like the way you are portrayed on TV with Boston Public or in that film Valentine 2000 or was it Vampire 2000? I can’t remember. You’re too good for that.
What’s most important is that as my mother Viola really liked you, I want you to only accept classier roles. In fact it would be best from now on if you and your agent cleared your roles with me first. Also I heard you married a U.S. Senator and got involved with something horrible. What’s that all about?
One more very, very important thing. After I saw this woman who looked like you in the Wal-Mart I immediately went to White Castles. You know their jingle, “What you crave?” Well, after you eat there, you’ll only crave a toilet. It’s really true. Even Leah! said so.
Kind Regards,
Anthony C. LoBaido
St. Louis, Mo.
(I mean, "Narniaville")
P.S. Also, never eat at Rally’s cause its really gross ...
P.S.S. Erin said to say “Hi” and “Woooo Hoooo.” She does that a lot. She’s very, very crazy and possibly insane.
Next Week’s Celebrity Letter
Burt Reynolds or maybe Jaime Farr.
Leah’s ode to Erin
“Anthony, Erin is very, very crazy and possibly insane.”
Leah and her ode to Anthony!
“Anthony, you are very, very crazy and possibly insane.”
Paris Hilton vs. Mr. Slave reprised ...
You know how on South Park they had a “Whore Off” between Paris Hilton and Mr. Slave? Well, Erin and Anthony are going to have a “Crazy Off.” All around St. Louis, Mo. people are running around waving their arms and saying “Crazy Off!”
Erin and Anthony have individually and collectively reached a level of craziness never before seen in the State of Missouri. And NO alcohol has ever been involved … that would actually be kind of frightening. But Erin said she gets kind of like a “B” when she drinks so … We will stick to Kool-Aid. Hey Kool-Aid!
On Rachel and the TV/Internet/Mobile Pilot
The night before last we put in such long hours on my TV pilot. Rachel was a star. I always bring both she and Shawnese dinner and then we get to work. She’s also falling in love with a few of my photographs. They are the sunset in Thailand and then the Nepalese woman building the brick wall.
Rachel is the finest editor imaginable and I have worked with some great ones, like Kyle and the girl who edited Anastasia for Disney.
“I think this is great,” she told me. “I’m sick of all the crap on TV. Anthony, your show represents everything why I got into this business in the first place.”
The stories are so beautiful and touching and amazing … not because of Anthony, but because of Steven, Super Lu, the refugees, those who help the puppies and the kittens, KK and many others.
As I’ve said, it’s like the first Rocky movie … only the cast and the crew knew how great the movie was going to be, no one else in the industry did.
Although I’ve been told not to say this on air, I can say it here; it’s
Touched by an Angel meets
Survivor meets
Temptation Island. Only you don’t have to wait for angels to visit you … the people you meet are already angels – like Heather and the
CSI-Guatemala man, Stephen and the others. You go and visit the angels.
It’s not like Survivor in the way that you don’t win a cheeseburger over a tug of war contest … you’ll travel with Anthony to dig out the dead and you’ll venture into a society riddled with contract (even flippant) murder, Satanic ritual killings (left over from Satan’s hold on Guatemala via the Mayan’s paganism) to defend the weak.
Yes, there’s a gorgeous island, Isla Muejeres in the Yucatan. But in general terms, the only temptation you’ll face is to close your heart to some of the most beautiful stories imaginable. Evil will smile at you and you’ll just smile back.
When you learn how much others have overcome (KK and Zoe) you’ll be better able to let go of your past. When you see how much others have lost, you’ll be thankful for what you still have. When you see how happy people are with so little, you’ll have to take an inventory of your own personal possessions.
And along the way, you’ll encounter the most amazing collection of people imaginable … from Hollywood to Ridley Scott to a hard core missionary to Anthony’s identical twin sister and … so much more .
I have been working on this TV/Internet/Mobile pilot day and night, driven like you can’t imagine. It’s become all consuming. And to think the only support I had in the beginning was that it was “a lie” and the bid was “sent to (me) by mistake.
People say that they are sick of all the evil and the filth on TV. Well, now is their chance to see how beautiful TV can be. I think of “Goodbye, Farewell and Amen” on M*A*S*H, St. Zack on Picket Fences and “The Spirit of Liberty Moon” on Touched by an Angel. Or Extreme Makeover or Three Wishes … it’s going to be special.
And I can’t even imagine the amazing stories that I could do with the network behind me … Little Angels in South Africa and so, so many others … It’s like Kerry told me, “Anthony, you know this is (bleeping) going to happen).
Please continue to pray for me … that I might continue forward and that all the darkness I encounter along the way would be vanquished. It’s a lot more work than I ever imagined and my first major project I the Digital Age. But in the end it’s going to be worth it. People will cry … tears of joy.
There are a few out there that I want to prove wrong. That drives me to walk in the rain and snow, and to stay up late at night working on the script … Jesus Christ said that a person’s own worst enemies would be those closest to him or her. He was correct.
Of course there are many others whom I want to make proud of me … and when I think about them, I can’t help but smile.
Legionnaire Erin storms Dien Bien Phu
Yesterday we had a mini-blizzard here in St. Louis, Mo. I spent the better part of the mid-morning traumatized from an idea Erin relayed to me. Actually this might have been Phillip’s idea but I can’t be sure. They have become one person we call, “Phlarin,” apparently it is some kind of genetic mutation.
How this all began … the harp music strums and the screen gets all blurry …
I received a phone call early in the morning …
The conversation went like this:
“Anthony, what are you doing?”
“I’m lying down.”
“Why?”
“Erin just called.”
“And you had to lie down? Anthony, Oh-My-God, what did she say to you?”
“She told me about a holiday to replace Valentine’s Day.”
“Tell me …”
(This cannot be repeated on this Blog or anywhere for that matter, but what I can tell you is that half of it involves a steak. Yes, like from Outback).
“Oh My God! That’s hysterical.”
Yesterday Erin only told me to “shut up” one time (which she made good use of). Then she went to her boyfriend’s house to bake cupcakes. (Still can’t tell you what she calls them). We talked about her holiday idea and then about the so-called “End Times.” She also explained why she enjoys yelling at me. (Like everyone else apparently!)
After that I had to visit with the Vietnamese cooks she had berated last week. Their self-esteem was terribly low. She actually told them her name was “Ellen” just so she could make fun of them when they said her name “correctly.” Like Kim Jong Il in Team America.
I told you she might be the Antichrist!
Clever girl!
I’ve been thinking lately about how whenever Erin’s around the theme from “Disco Inferno” starts up and she works the crowd while giving everyone a high five.
I was considering that song as the theme for her wedding.
But then I got a better idea …
The theme from Star Wars! Phillip has a degree in Microbiology from Duke University and at his age he still has Star Wars toys in his room. What could be a better wedding song?
One of the Vietnamese cooks said to me, “Tell Erin (remember he thought he was saying ‘Ellen’) to tell Phillip to bring in that monkey from Star Wars!”
(I think they want to cook it or something).
You know, it takes A LOT to make me angry. But I love Phillip because he’s a part of Erin. I love Erin and if she loves Phillip then I must love and defend him … and his Star Wars toys by default.
So I said, “Well for your information, it’s not a monkey … It’s a Wookie!”
And then I left, disappearing back into the blinding snow.
It is true that I feel a certain kinship with the Wookie, having traveled to the Himalayas to look for the Abominable Snowman or “Yeti,” meaning “Man Bear” in the Tibetan language.
See …
Nepal: Strategic Ally of the West
http://worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=26511Nepal's Royal Bloodbath
http://worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=26521The Gurkhas: Britain's Himalayan Mercenaries
http://worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=26578 Quotes of the Week
Mr. Li: “Love make people the crazy!”
From 1984: “Scrumptious delicacies are available … in the bowling alley”
Person X: “You leave out parts of your stories.” (Re: Why the police had to come over)
Ladue Police Sniper: “I actually enjoy dressing like I’m ready to invade Poland.”
Person A: “They always try to make the Nazis look bad.”
Person A: “At least I don’t mainline heroin.”
Person A: “Was your grandmother hot?”
Person X: “No, she’s dead.”
Person X: “Damn Presbyterians.”
Person X: “I can’t believe you almost ate the out hole.”
Mr. Li (during Pictionary): “The Unbearable Lightness of Bean!”
Jennifer-Michelle on the most important thing in her life: (Take one guess)
Special Note A: Apparently “Jennimer is NOT a limmeral.”
Special Note B: Having visited Australia, I know that koala’s are not bears. When I randomly shout, “I am bear!” it is true that sometimes I may mean I am a koala but in that case it should be inferred that I am actually a marsupial. Now what would you rather run around saying, “I am bear!” or “I am marsupial!” See!
Special Note C: Special thanks to my friend from Rhodesia (yes, Leonardo Dicaprio and I both still call it that!) for all previous support. And now Kevin Woods is finally free!
The Fire and Sand of Moses
I was thinking about Samuel and Saul. Absolute power corrupts absolutely and we all need someone to be accountable to.
We know that women and children ruling the streets is a sign of judgment from God. (Lamentations). We look at our society and we see how it has slowly been enslaved by Hugh Hefner, Gloria S., Big Pharma, Freud, Darwin, the ideals behind the French Revolution, Communism, Marx, Hegel, Kierkegaard, the Occult and Harry Pot Head, never ending wars, economies of evil, shallow spiritual leaders, all the forces of good under attack, the spirit of Antichrist on the rise … nihilism, political correctness, Comet and Aum cults, feminism, abortion even at nine months, cloning, the debasement of European civilization, the Rock, Satanic and Rap music, all the lies from Madison Avenue, Hollywood sleaze, the Jacobin mentality to remake the world in America’s debased imagine and of course the Global Warming Mandarins (in 1938, millions believed in aliens on Mars, apparently today they are still there causing Mars’ Polar Ice Caps to melt).
Then there are the intelligence meltdowns as our elites can see through their pre-conceived notions, China-Russia-North Korea-Ian-Cuba-South Africa Axis, Ivy League anti-intellectualism, the return to Sodom via gift-givers and bug-chasers, Paris Hilton, the multi-billion dollar sexualization of pre-teens, worship of Alan Greenspan (a nice man who never asked for this “irrational exuberance”) Pentagon perpetual war machine, women in combat, women with little babies in combat, depleted uranium, feel good military where everyone wears the Special Forces beret so “their feelings aren’t hurt,” creative destruction, New World Order, network news of lies, world government, Islamic jihad and open borders.
Then there are the new diseases, revival of old diseases, polluted water and food, turning Allah McBeal into Ally McBeal in the Middle East, the frantic and Satanic busy-ness of daily life inhibiting spiritual growth, kids wearing pajamas to school showing the crack of their rear end and more …
All this while our President drifts further into unreality (the puppeteers must be smiling as he has served them so very well), China has bankrupted us while Beijing and Russia continue to prepare for nuclear war and a radioactive “Year Zero,” and the Congress and the Senate are bought off and paid for … unable to act, save for Ron Paul and that nice Senator from Oklahoma.
We have been abandoned. There are many forms of God’s wrath. The wrath of abandonment (Romans I) is among the worst. All because long ago, the people of Earth demanded a King, unable to follow the cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night.
Samuel cried out to the Lord over what became of Israel under Saul. We all need prayer intercessors. We all need encouragement. We need to seek what is good and what is pure. Yes we will fall and yes we will be called names, sometimes deservedly so, but not in the end. We need to pitch our tent like Abraham and not like Lot. But didn’t Abraham also make a wrong turn in his life? Didn’t Lot compromise? And what of the story about Lot’s daughters? And what of Noah’s sons? All of us are going to be tainted in some way. In the end, the only thing that matters is that we keep on fighting for our souls and “work out your salvation with fear and trembling.”
Beyond that, focus on faith and not fear.
Having an Earthly king was never part of God’s original plan. And the idols have been there since the time of Moses and the golden calf. It’s in our DNA. Yet we can’t take evil and call it good. Look at Saul and the Amelekites. That’s really one of the key stories of the entire Bible, along with Daniel in Iraq and Joseph in Egypt. Call Baal what you want. Call the spirits that drove Nebuchadnezzar what you wish. (Ever wonder where those spirits are today?) According to the Book of Daniel, as human history stretched towards climax, knowledge would increase, many would travel and that the basest of men would come to rule. Daniel also said in spite of all of this, the plans of the transnational elite would not succeed.
I wrote about this in Sailing Noah’s Ark into the Present. My father said it was the best thing that I have ever written. You can find it on Wnd.com
God told Saul to destroy it all … no cattle or booty or slaves. But Saul disobeyed and even made an offering to God from that which God called filthy. Then he blamed it all on the soldiers. And in the end, Saul was slain by an Amelekite. This is what happens when we compromise our morals with evil people and with sin. We’ve all done this. We all will do it in the future. The only thing we can do is to realize we are in a war.
LoBaido’s New Science Fiction Story
It’s a time travel story back to World War II.
A friend like Jules
Moses became angry at the treatment of the Hebrew slaves in Egypt. And in his anger he killed an Egyptian soldier and buried him in the sand. But the wind blew the sand away.
Jesus told his followers that if they “had two coats to sell one and buy a sword.” Yet when Peter cut off the ear of the Roman soldier, Jesus rebuked Peter and healed the soldier’s injury immediately.
Jesus made Saul (the Apostle Paul) go temporarily blind after holding Stephen’s coat while that saint was stoned to death. (Yes, by rocks). Later Paul caused the wicked man in Cyprus to go blind. The same power Jesus used on Saul, Paul was able to use on others.
We all have been walking blind at various times in our lives. I think of that blind beggar I met in La Antigua, Guatemala. (Chico, and his photo is on this Blog, along with that story).
I keep running into Christine, a blind girl I have met again and again. She has this friend, Jules, who is always at her side. The other day there was pouring rain outside and I saw Christine and Jules.
Jules (who is not blind) said to Christine, “I keep telling you, you have to cover up (such and such) because it’s cold outside and you can get sick.
I had to turn away, because I almost started to cry. Why? Because Jules is always at Christine’s side, always helping her, always … there … Erin and Anthony may be very popular and we know everyone (as Drew once said) and everyone like us (or so it seems) but Erin and Anthony, in fact, no one, has a friend like Jules.
So whenever we become angry, let us remember the story of Moses and the Egyptian soldier. Let us remember the Widow’s Mite. Let us remember, “Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God.” But not just someday … every day. Let us remember Peter being crucified upside down, rather that remember him wielding the sword before cowering in front of a little servant girl.
Let us rather value kindness and courage. Let us value what Jules and Christine share, Agape love. No one remembers the name of that Pharaoh. But we all remember Moses, the adopted little baby, who came floating down that river in a basket, who turned his back on wealth and power to serve his people, who needed him, who mastered his temper, who confronted evil, who had faith, who showed the way out of idolatry, who saw the face of God and showed every human since ten ways to live in holiness.
The other day and I was covered with pouring water I had a dream. In the dream I saw angels fighting with swords, like in The Robe and Gladiator. And I saw an angel holding one sword in particular. It was beautiful and perfect and pure. I knew better than to ask that angel to hand me that sword. Yet I felt that angel whisper in my ear, “Not yet Anthony, but someday, perhaps one day soon … that depends on you.”
To Appear on a Pier in Belize
One morning I woke up while living on Ambergris Caye I was so sure that I was going to die on this day. It had been raining for many days, even weeks and I wanted to go for a swim. I walked to the end of a pier but did not get in the water because it was too cold. And then about 30 seconds later, two sharks swam out from under the pier. They were Tiger Sharks, not Nurse Sharks.
I was so upset. I wrote an email after this to Jennifer Lynne, my Miss San Diego friend, and she wrote back, “Anthony, the devil is a liar. See you were sure you were going to die today but you didn’t.”
“The Angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and He delivers them.”
-- Psalm 34:8
